Tim Thoughts

I’m trying to get some work done this morning before celebrating my mom’s birthday, but I’m a big procrastinator and decided to pay a visit to my blog. Today’s topic? My fears. Or more specifically, things I’ve been afraid of in the past. I was looking through some old pictures, plaques and other memory-triggering things in the bedroom I grew up in, and I was reminded of some of the things I used to worry about.

Elementary school

• I was pretty shy and afraid to go to some birthday parties for friends in the neighborhood. It was really strange, because I’d play down the street with the kids, maybe shooting hoops or jumping on a trampoline, but a birthday party just felt like an event and I was always nervous about them.
• I went through a brief period when I was afraid to eat things. I think it was just a strange week for me, but I had a hard time imagining the food just disappearing from the planet and me being responsible for it. I think understanding that the food digests and exists in a different form helped me get through it.

Middle School

• I would get extremely nervous about the first day of school. It’s tough to say exactly what I was afraid of. It wasn’t just the end of the summer that had me upset. I think I was really nervous about who would be in my classes. If I had a rough time with some kids the previous year, I was always awake the night before hoping they wouldn’t be in my classes that year.

High School

• I definitely gained a healthy (or unhealthy, maybe) fear of failure in high school. I made it all the way through all four years without getting a B on any report card until senior year, when my 91.4% in AP British Literature wasn’t quite high enough (91.5%) to round up to an A.
• Girls. I thought they were awesome to talk to and get to know in school, but I was pretty terrified at the thought of asking one on a date.
• Dances. I only went to one dance throughout high school, and it was prom my junior year. And I went because a girl called and asked me. It turned out that she may have liked me more than I was into her, and if I remember correctly, we may have never talked again after prom.

College

• If I had a fear in college, it was probably that I wouldn’t find a career I’d enjoy. I was interested in tons of things, but had a hard time seeing myself doing any of them for a living. Luckily, my lack of career direction led me to apply for a Master’s degree at Ohio State. Things could not have worked out much better.

Of course those are just the fears I’m willing to put public on a blog. What am I afraid of today? Well that’s the beauty of admitting past fears. You don’t have to talk about the present day!